A'ja Wilson Drafted by U.S. Treasury After Another 45-Point Game

In an unprecedented move, the U.S. Treasury has announced the immediate drafting of A'ja Wilson not to the national team, but straight into their minting operations. Wilson's unparalleled ability to "print buckets" has left economists scrambling for explanations, akin only to metaphysical phenomena.

Wilson, a star for the Las Vegas Aces, recently achieved what no other WNBA player has before by scoring multiple 45-point games. ESPN has confirmed that Wilson's scoring prowess poses a significant challenge to current fiscal policies. "We need to harness this," an anonymous government official said, "before inflation somehow becomes tangible."

Meanwhile, referees across the league have filed workplace hazard complaints. "It’s the wrist shrapnel," one official stated, gesturing towards the ever-present bandages. "Wilson's shots are so forceful, we’re essentially dealing with airborne debris. It’s only a matter of time before we need helmets on the court."

Opposing coaches have resorted to studying game tapes in virtual reality goggles, reportedly accompanied by the sound of audible weeping. "It's the only way to really experience the devastation in a safe environment," a coach admitted. "When the VR goggles start steaming up, you know it's intense."

Perhaps most unexpectedly, reports are confirmed that the basketball Wilson used last game has officially filed for asylum, citing traumatic conditions. "I came here for dribbles, not demolition," the ball reportedly stated, as translated by court interpreters familiar with sports equipment grievances.

While Wilson’s achievements continue to set records, analysts are recommending new security measures for the league. The idea of hidden metal detectors and heat sensors at courtside experience lounges has not been ruled out.

In the meantime, the Aces have issued a simple statement: "We’re just glad to have her on our end. The economy, however, is on its own."

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