Anti-Monarchists Accidentally Enthrone Supreme Archduke of Protest

In a turn of events that could only be described as farcical, the fictional "No More Crowns Club" managed to appoint a titular ruler during what was supposed to be an anti-royal protest planning session. The group, fervently committed to muddling through without leaders, inadvertently established a monarchy, culminating in the christening of Sir Reginald the Resolute as their "Supreme Archduke of Protest."

The misstep occurred in the imaginatively named Coffee-Stained Cardboard Castle, home to many a heated debate. Attendees, wary of disorder, suggested a more cohesive framework, leading inadvertently to Sir Reginald’s accidental coronation. His elevation, marked by a crown assembled from takeout snack bags, sent waves of confusion and jest through the clubhouse.

"We simply wanted a speaker, not a sovereign!" declared one gobsmacked organizer, Euphemia Witherspoon. "But there was something about Reginald’s grand moustache... things escalated ceremonially."

Reginald, now affectionately known as "His Royal Protestation," embraced his accidental role by pushing for symbolic abolitions, notably of his own comically ostentatious regalia. This whimsical hierarchy shift amusingly compromised their attempt at a nonstructured protest model.

Meanwhile, scholars from the nonsensical Academy of Absurdity raced to redefine movement metrics. "There’s a delightful contradiction in such a chaotic protest accidentally establishing an orderly confusion," mused Dr. Ambrosia Larkspur, leading expert on comedic governance.

Despite the comic chaos, members of the No More Crowns Club remain united in purpose, now contemplating a return to their anarchistic roots with determinedly directionless determination.

In the never-ending quest to defy leadership, it appears their greatest opponent might just be irony itself—a potent ruler on its throne of contradiction.