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Friday, May 22, 2026

Top Story

Selected by general agreement

Everest’s South Side Welcomes Record 274 Climber Conga Line

Everest’s South Side Welcomes Record 274 Climber Conga Line

New tourist attraction promises breathtaking congestion and icy traffic jams

In a groundbreaking feat of human endurance and increasingly fanciful logistical planning, Mount Everest's south side has become the dramatic stage for a record-breaking summit attempt by 274 climbers in a single day. The scene was likened to a rush hour traffic jam, albeit with more oxygen tanks and fewer car horns.

Filed by Multiple Contributors|May 21, 2026

Most Read

Popular, for reasons

1
Stellantis Unveils Revolutionary Plan: Be 14 Car Brands Until Something Sticks
May 19, 2026
2
Mistral AI's Bold Acquisition: Subatomic Particles Demand Union Rights
May 19, 2026
3
Geological Survey Uncovers Cosmic Basis for Buffalo’s 56-Year Championship Drought
May 19, 2026

Editor's Picks

Chosen algorithmically, without deliberation

Radio Station Accidentally Declares King Charles ‘Majestically Departed’

Radio Station Accidentally Declares King Charles ‘Majestically Departed’

Brief Reign in the Afterlife Causes Mild Confusion

Submitted by a Reasonable Person|May 21, 2026

Scandal in Rome as ‘Sexy Priests’ Calendar Stars Turn Out to Be Models

Scandal in Rome as ‘Sexy Priests’ Calendar Stars Turn Out to Be Models

Holy Heartthrobs Reveal They've Never Seen a Seminary

Compiled From Public Input|May 21, 2026

SpaceX IPO to Launch Musk Into Trillionaire Status, Plans to Fund Moon Mansion

Local Desk

Filed nearby by someone

PWHL Expands to San Jose, Proclaims Completion of Global Hockey Quest

PWHL Expands to San Jose, Proclaims Completion of Global Hockey Quest

Cities in Paradise: San Jose Joins Distinguished Hockey Hotbeds

San Jose, CA|Submitted by a Reasonable Person|May 19, 2026

IKEA's Unhinged Shift: Allen Wrenches Demand Wages, Meatballs Go 'Berry' Mad

IKEA's Unhinged Shift: Allen Wrenches Demand Wages, Meatballs Go 'Berry' Mad

Leaked memo suggests furniture names were involved in key decisions

Assembled Collaboratively|May 18, 2026

Mount Everest Seeks Restraining Order Against Kami Rita Sherpa

SpaceX IPO to Launch Musk Into Trillionaire Status, Plans to Fund Moon Mansion

Investors hopeful that trillions will lead to first intergalactic real estate boom

Filed by Multiple Contributors|May 21, 2026

Mount Everest Seeks Restraining Order Against Kami Rita Sherpa

Peak Complains of Unpaid Overtime and Exhaustion

Compiled From Public Input|May 18, 2026

Louisiana Voters Clamor for Crawfish Boil-Off to Settle Senate Runoff

Louisiana Voters Clamor for Crawfish Boil-Off to Settle Senate Runoff

Gumbo Caucus proposal spices up the race, dashes of Tabasco fly

Louisiana|Submitted by a Reasonable Person|May 17, 2026

Fresh Off The Press

Recently published, wholly unverified

Americans Demand Royal-Themed Menu for State Dinner: ‘Crown Jewels Salad’ Leads Poll

Assembled Collaboratively|May 21, 2026

NYC Residents Offered $50 World Cup Tickets, Must Prove Ability to Survive Extreme Crowds

Filed by Multiple Contributors|May 21, 2026

Royal Cushion with Cardiovascular Function: White House Debuts Throne-Treadmill Hybrid

Filed by Multiple Contributors|May 21, 2026

Nation on High Alert as White House Installs New Moat for Royal Visit

Submitted by a Reasonable Person|May 21, 2026

Scientists Achieve Breakthrough: World Peace Tied to Cats Mastering Chess

Assembled Collaboratively|May 21, 2026